Beautifully Flawed, And Everything In Between — Linked Inclusion™ :: A virtual platform-based community of individuals facing the common challenges of exclusion :: Diversity And Inclusion Training | Online Diversity And Inclusion Certification | Best Resources For Diversity And Inclusion | Equity Training In The Workplace | Wellness Training For Employees

By: Melissa S. Kong

Brooklyn, NY 1998

“Ching chong macahaya” was how my classmates would greet me when I first started grade school. I grew up in an urban low-income neighborhood in Gravesend, Brooklyn NY. I was primarily raised by my paternal grandparents because my dad worked a lot. I’m a city kid at heart, born in New York State’s capital on the sixth of August and was raised in New York City Housing Authority (NYCHA), the largest public housing development in NYC.

When I was younger, I was bullied a lot by my classmates so I guess when I got older I grew a profound passion for learning how to advocate for others. I made it my professional career to help others, helping those around me who feel invisible, unheard, and unworthy of all the good things life has to offer us.

I was your typical kid—I listened to my elders and did what I was told, but I was also extremely shy. I think my teachers in school misinterpreted my shyness and thought that I had selective mutism or that I had a learning disability of some sort, but as I grew older, and with the help of a really good therapist, I learned how to break out of my shell and find my own voice from within.

I remember having two identities growing up, struggling to juggle both—my traditional Chinese vs. American culture. I think for me trying to adapt to the more westernized American culture was a survival tactic so that I could be seen like all the other normal kids. My classmates would tease me about my small chinky eyes, my tooth that looked rotten because it was filled in with silver amalgam filling, and how my face resembled a pancake because of how flat it looked.

In life, you're always going to have struggles but the most important thing about struggles is your response to them and the things you do to try to move forward from them. There is something really powerful when a person has the ability to see and love themselves as flawed and imperfect—learning how to embrace my Asian physical features as a part of my identity has been a beautiful journey. As we celebrate Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month, my final message to you all is no matter what to be proud of who you are and where you come from.

Melissa Kong (she/her) is a mental health counselor and a self-taught digital content creator. She is a New York native and is passionate about helping to improve the mental health and wellness of communities of color. You view more of her creative work at www.melissa-kong.com.

You can connect with Melissa on Twitter: @mskongmhc

Where necessary, content has been edited for clarity and readability.

© Linked Inclusion™ Corporation, 2022. Linked Inclusion™ provides resources to serve people who have been historically excluded. Our goal is to solve for Diversity Equity, Inclusion + Wellness. Visit us online at www.linkedinclusion.com, and join the professional social change management community at www.linkedinclusion.us.

"Replace exclusion with Inclusion®. We are stronger, faster, smarter, together."